1.Everything Right Is Wrong Again
Vocal：John Linnell
Everything right is wrong again
Just like in the long long trailer
All the dishes got broken and the car kept driving
And nobody would stop to save her
Wake me when it's over, touch my face
Tell me every word has been erased
Don't you want to know the reason
Why the cupboard's not appealing
Don't you get the feeling that
Everything that's right is wrong again
You're a weasel overcome with dinge
Weasel overcome but not before the damage done
The healing doesn't stop the feeling
Everything right is wrong again
Just like in the long long trailer
All the dishes got broken and the car kept driving
And nobody would stop to save her
And now the song is over now
And now the song is over now
And now the song is over now
The song is over now
Everything right is wrong again
Every movement false, every four is waltz again
Every five and dime's been gained and spent
Tell me that you like my float upstream
Draw the line dividing laugh and scream
You know everything that I know so I know
You've heard the voice that makes the silent noise
That says that
Everything that's right is wrong again
You're a weasel overcome with dinge
Weasel overcome but not before the damage done
The healing doesn't stop the feeling
Everything right is wrong again
Just like in the long long trailer
All the dishes got broken and the car kept driving
And nobody would stop to save her
And now the song is over now
And now the song is over now
And now the song is over now
The song is over now
2.Put Your Hand Inside The Puppet Head
Vocal：John Flansburgh
As your body floats down Third Street
With the burn-smell factory closing up
Yes it's sad to say you will romanticize
All the things you've known before
It was not not not so great
It was not not not so great
And as you take a bath in that beaten path
There's a pounding at the door
Well It's a mighty zombie talking of some love and posterity
He says 'The good old days never say good-bye
If you keep this in your mind：
You need some lo-lo-loving arms
You need some lo-lo-loving arms'
And as you fall from grace the only words you say are
Put your hand inside the puppet head
Put your hand inside the puppet head
Put your hand inside
Put your hand inside
Put your hand inside the puppet head
Ads up in the subway are the work of someone
Trying to please their boss
And though the guy's a pig we all know what he wants
Is just to please somebody else
If the pu-pu-puppet head
Was only bu-bu-busted in
It would be a better thing for everyone involved
And we wouldn't have to cry
Put your hand inside the puppet head
Put your hand inside the puppet head
Put your hand inside
Put your hand inside
Put your hand inside the puppet head
Memo to myself： do the dumb things I gotta do
Touch the puppet head
Quit my job down at the carwash
Didn't have to write no-one a good-bye note
That said, 'The check's in the mail, and
I'll see you in church, and don't you ever change'
If the pu-pu-puppet head
Was only bu-bu-busted in
I'll see you after school
Put your hand inside the puppet head
Put your hand inside the puppet head
Put your hand inside
Put your hand inside
Put your hand inside the puppet head
Put your hand inside the puppet head
Put your hand inside the puppet head
Put your hand inside
Put your hand inside
Put your hand inside the puppet head
3.Number Three
Vocal：John Flansburgh／John Linnell
There's only two songs in me and I just wrote the third
Don't know where I got the inspiration or how I wrote the words
Spent my whole life just digging up my music's shallow grave
For the two songs in me and the third one I just made
A rich man once told me
'Hey life's a funny thing'
A poor man once told me
That he can't afford to speak
Now I'm in the middle like a bird without a beak 'cause
There's just two songs in me and I just wrote the third
Don't know where I got the inspiration or how I wrote the words
Spent my whole life just digging up my music's shallow grave
For the two songs in me and the third one I just made
So I went to the President
And I asked old what's-his-name
Has he ever gotten writer's block
Or something like the same
He just started talking
Like he was on TV
'If there's just two songs in ya, boy
Whaddaya want from me？'
So I bought myself some denim pants
And a silver guitar
But I politely told the ladies
'You'll still have to call me Sir
Because I have to keep my self-respect
I'll never be a star
Since there's just two songs in me
And this is Number Three'
4.Don't Let's Start
Vocal：John Linnell
Don't don't don't let's start
This is the worst part
Could believe for all the world
That you're my precious little girl
But don't don't don't let's start
I've got a weak heart
And I don't get around how you get around
When you are alone you are the cat, you are the phone
You are an animal
The words I'm singing now
Mean nothing more than meow to an animal
Wake up and smell the cat food in your bank account
But don't try to stop the tail that wags the hound
D, world destruction
Over and overture
N, do I need
Apostrophe T, need this torture？
Don't don't don't let's start
This is the worst part
Could believe for all the world
That you're my precious little girl
But don't don't don't let's start
I've got a weak heart
And I don't get around how you get around
No one in the world ever gets what they want and that is
beautiful
Everybody dies frustrated and sad and that is beautiful
They want what they're not and I wish they would stop saying,
Deputy dog dog a ding dang depadepa
Deputy dog dog a ding dang depadepa
D, world destruction
Over and overture
N, do I need
Apostrophe T, need this torture？
Don't don't don't let's start
This is the worst part
Could believe for all the world
That you're my precious little girl
But don't don't don't let's start
I've got a weak heart
And I don't get around how you get around
I don't want to live in this world anymore
I don't want to live in this world
Don't don't don't let's start
This is the worst part
Could believe for all the world
That you're my precious little girl
But don't don't don't let's start
I've got a weak heart
And I don't get around how you get around
Notes
The demo version of this song has an abbreviated form of the
lyrics above.
Essentially, it consists of the chorus, the 'I don't want to
live' bit, and another chorus.
5.Hide Away Folk Family
Vocal：John Flansburgh／John Linnell
Hide away folk family
Or else someone's gonna get ya (Someone's gonna get ya)
Someone's gonna get ya
Hide away folk family
Better hide away
Better hide away
Tippy-toe to the front door, Mother,
'Cause there's a guy with a long, long fuse
And the one thing you can't hide is all the fear you feel inside
As the fuse is spelling out these words
Hide away folk family
Or else someone's gonna get ya (Someone's gonna get ya)
Someone's gonna get ya
Hide away folk family
Better hide away
Better hide away
Tippy-toe to the flat-bed, Father,
Because they're pouring out our gasoline
And sadly the cross-eyed bear's been put to sleep behind the
stairs
And his shoes are laced with irony
Hide away folk family
Or else someone's gonna get ya (Someone's gonna get ya)
Someone's gonna get ya
Hide away folk family
Better hide away
Better hide away
Hello. This is Leslie Down with the daily home astrology report.
Taurus： Contemplate domestic turmoil.
Aquarius： Abandon hope for future plans.
Hide away folk family
Or else someone's gonna get ya (Someone's gonna get ya)
Someone's gonna get ya
Hide away folk family
Better hide away
Better hide away (hide away)
Hide away (folk family) folk family (Or else someone's gonna get
ya)
Someone's gonna get ya
Hide away
Hide away
6.32 Footsteps
Vocal：John Linnell／John Flansburgh
32 footsteps leading to the room where the paint doesn't want to
dry
32 footsteps running down the road where the dirt reaches the
sky
32 feathers in my brand-new Indian headdress
32 new moons shining in 32 skies
What's the reason, why'd she go
Where's my baby, I don't know
32 footsteps, counted them myself, 32 footsteps
Bing bang bingalong, cing cang cingalong, ding dang dingalong
day
Fing fang fingalong, Ging gang gingalong, hing hang hingalong
hay
Jing jang jingalong, king kang kingalong, ling lang lingalong
lay
Ming mang mingalong, ning nang ningalong, ping pang pingalong
pay
What's the reason, why'd she go
Where's my baby, I don't know
32 footsteps, counted them myself, 32 footsteps
32 lies my ears never saw when the floorboards gave way
32 walls come tumbling down and the night turns to day
32 infantrymen running in place
32 boxcars, all of them have your face
What's the reason, why'd she leave
Don't you know we're on the eve of
32 footsteps, counted them myself, 32 footsteps
(no) 28
(no) 29
(no) 30
31
7.Toddler Hiway
Vocal：John Flansburgh
In the mornin' sun 'round seven o'clock
The parking lot fills around Toys-R-Us
And my little girl, she will get away
Ride her bike down Toddler Hiway
Take your Close'n'Play
Toddler Hiway
8.Rabid Child
Vocal：John Flansburgh
Lord, please don't take me away.
Rabid child stays at home, talks on a CB
Truckers pass calling out their handles to the kid
Chess Piece Face and The Big Duluth call her every day
'Hammer down' and 'rabbit ears' are the only words they know
Hammer down
Hammer down, rabbit ears
Hammer down, rabbit ears
Hammer down, rabbit ears, hammer down
If you pass the rabid child say 'hammer down' for me
The rabid child
The rabid child
The rabid child
9.Nothing's Gonna Change My Clothes
Vocal：John Linnell
All the people are so happy now, their heads are caving in
I'm glad they are a snowman with protective rubber skin
But every little thing's a domino that falls on different dots
And crashes into everything that tries to make it stop
And the mirror, it reflects a tiny dancing skeleton
Surrounded by a fleshy overcoat and swaddled in
A furry hat, elastic mask, a pair of shiny marble dice
Some people call them snake-eyes, but to me they look like mice
And nothing's smelling like a rose
But I don't care if no one's coming up for air
I know nothing's gonna change my clothes ever anymore
All the people are so happy now, their heads are caving in
I'm glad they are a snowman with protective rubber skin
But every little thing's a domino that falls on different dots
And crashes into everything that tries to make it stop
And nothing's smelling like a rose
But I don't care if no one's coming up for air
I know nothing's gonna change my clothes ever anymore
No, no, no, no
Nothing's smelling like a rose
But I don't care if no one's coming up for air
I know that nothing's gonna change my clothes ever anymore
10.She Was A Hotel Detective
Vocal：John Flansburgh／Peter Permain Thomson
She's got her ear to the walls and she's tappin' the calls
If you've got a secret boy, forget about it, 'cause she's a
Hotel Detective
my little
Hotel Detective
yeah she's a
Hotel Detective
Why don't you check her out
Well the bellhop is funky
The dumbwaiter's a monkey
If there's a knock at the door, boy, forget about it, 'cause
she's a
Hotel Detective
my little
Hotel Detective
yeah
Hotel Detective
Cone on and check her out
She says she likes my face
She says she owns the place
Forget about it, 'cause she's a
Hotel Detective
my little
Hotel Detective
come on her
Hotel Detective
Why don't you check her out
Hotel Detective
Come on and swing with me
Hotel Detective
From the top of a tree
Hotel Detective
And make me feel like a bee
Hotel Detective
That's where I want to know you
11.She's An Angel
Vocal：John Linnell
I met someone at the dog show
She was holding my left arm
But everyone was acting normal so I tried to look nonchalant.
We both said, 'I really love you,'
The Shriners loaned us cars
We raced up and down the sidewalk twenty thousand million times
Why did they send her over anyone else？
How should I react？ These things happen to other people
They don't happen at all, in fact
When you're following an angel
Does it mean you have to throw your body off a building？
Somewhere they're meeting on a pinhead
Calling you an angel, calling you the nicest things
I heard they had a space program
When they sing you can't hear, there's no air
Sometimes I think I kind of like that and
Other times I think I'm already there
Gonna ask for my admission
Gonna speak to the man in charge
The secretary says he's on another line,
Can I hold for a long, long time？
I found out she's an angel
I don't think she knows I know
I'm worried that something might happen to me
If anyone ever finds out
Why, why did they send her over anyone else？
How should I react？ These things happen to other people
They don't happen at all
When you're following an angel
Does it mean you have to throw your body off a building？
Somewhere they're meeting on a pinhead
Calling you an angel, calling you the nicest things
I heard they had a space program
When they sing you can't hear, there's no air
Sometimes I think I kind of like that and
Other times I think I'm already there
When you're following an angel
Does it mean you have to throw your body off a building？
Somewhere they're meeting on a pinhead
Calling you an angel, calling you the nicest things
12.Youth Culture Killed My Dog
Vocal：John Flansburgh／John Linnell
Youth culture (youth culture)
Youth culture (youth culture)
Youth culture (youth culture)
Youth culture (youth culture)
Youth culture killed my dog
And I don't think it's fair (I don't think it's fair)
And his suicide can be justified
By the tastemakers, how they cried and cried and so
Bacharach and David used to write his favorite songs
Never, never, never would he worry, he'd just run and fetch the
ball
But the night lights and my dog's life aren't exactly one and
the same
Youth culture killed my dog
And I don't think it's fair (I don't think it's fair)
And the judgement made in the city of hate
Just broke his spirit so
Bacharach and David used to write his favorite songs
Never, never, never would he worry, he'd just run and fetch the
ball
But the hiphop and the white funk just blew away my puppy's mind
I don't understand what you did to my dog
And I don't understand what you did to my dog
I don't understand what you did to my dog
I don't understand what you did to my dog
Youth culture killed my dog (Youth culture killed my dog)
And I don't think it's fair (I don't think it's fair)
And his suicide can be justified
By the tastemakers, how they cried and cried and so
Youth culture (youth culture)
Youth culture (youth culture)
Broke his spirit so (broke his spirit so)
Broke his spirit so
Youth culture (youth culture)
(youth culture)
Youth culture (youth culture)
(youth culture)
Broke his spirit so (broke his spirit so)
Broke his spirit so
13.Boat Of Car
Vocal：Margaret Seiler
Daddy'll sing bass＊
Daddy'll sing bass
Daddy'll sing bass
Daddy'll sing bass
I took my boat for a car
I took that car for a ride
I was trying to get somewhere
But now I'm following the traces of your fingernails
That run along the windshield＊＊ on the boat of car
Daddy'll sing bass
Traces of your fingernails that run along the windshield
On the boat of car
On the boat of car
On the boat of car
On the boat of car
Notes
＊This sample is Johnny Cash singing a line from the song 'Daddy
Sang Bass.'
＊＊The demo version has the word 'windows' here.
14.Absolutely Bill's Mood
Vocal：John Flansburgh
I was born in a lighthouse, my mother was the sea
I crawled to school each morning, when it occured to me
That life's just a mood ring we're not allowed to see
And this is what it said to me
My room is comfortably small
With rubber lining the walls
And there's someone always calling my name
He calls when I'm alone
And he calls when I'm not home
And he calls when I'm stuck out in the rain
I'm insane
I'm insane
I'm insane
I'm insane
Now listen all you swingers, don't you try to tag along
I know monkey see, but monkey's dead, for you it would be wrong
Put a dime in my jukebox, you'll only hear this song
And it won't be fun for long
Because my room is comfortably small
With rubber lining the walls
And there's someone always calling my name
He calls when I'm alone
And he calls when I'm not home
And he calls when I'm stuck out in the rain
I'm insane
I'm insane
I'm insane
I'm insane
Thank you
Thank you
My room is comfortably small
With rubber lining the walls
And there's someone always calling my name
He calls when I'm alone
And he calls when I'm not home
And he calls when I'm stuck out in the rain
I'm insane
I'm insane
I'm insane
I'm insane
15.Chess Piece Face
Vocal：John Flansburgh
What's gonna happen to Chess Piece Face
There go I but for my face
All I know could be defaced by the facts in the life of Chess
Piece Face
I don't know where he lives
Or if he knows to sail
Or if little schemes like this one ever cross his trail
But I don't believe he's dreaming
Or if he cares to know
So I shudder＊ in my lampshade
So, what's gonna happen to Chess Piece Face
There I go but for my face
All I know could be defaced by the facts in the life of Chess
Piece Face
Chess Piece Face
Chess Piece Face
Chess Piece Face
Notes
＊This might conceivably be 'shutter.'
Some live versions add an 'all hail' at the beginning of the
last line.
16.Hope That I Get Old Before I Die
Sometimes I feel like being wispy
And once in a while I feel like being dry
But we're doomed and we're drowned by this feeling we surround
So I hope that I get old before I die
Ohhhhh
It's a long, long rope they use to hang you soon I hope
And I wonder why this hasn't happened
Why why why
And I think about the dirt that I'll be wearing for a shirt
And I hope that I get old before I die
Clear off the kitchen table darling
For on the kitchen table I must lie
I'm just tired for my wife just served the banquet of my life
And I hope that I get old before I die
Ohhhhh
It's a long, long rope they use to hang you soon I hope
And I wonder why this hasn't happened
Why why why
And I think about the dirt that I'll be wearing for a shirt
And I hope that I get old before I die
Ohhhhh
It's a long, long rope they use to hang you soon I hope
And I wonder why this hasn't happened
Why why why
And I think about the dirt that I'll be wearing for a shirt
And I hope that I get old before I die
Notes
The 'Original Version' of this song on Then omits the last line
of the second-to-last chorus and the entire last chorus.
17.Alienation's For The Rich
Vocal：John Flansburgh
This song is dedicated to all you modern-day troubadors out
there
And I think I know who you are
I got to get a job
Got to get some pay
My son's gotta go to art school
He's leaving in three days
And the TV's in Esperanto＊
You know that that's a bitch
But alienation's for the rich
And I'm feeling poorer every day
Hey hey hey
Well I ain't feeling happy
About the state of things in my life
But I'm working to make it better
With a six of Miller High Life
Just drinking and a-driving
Making sure my dues get paid
Because alienation's for the rich
And I'm feeling poorer every day
Hey hey hey
Well I ain't feeling happy
About the state of things in my life
But I'm working to make it better
With a six of Miller High Life
Just drinking and a-driving
Making sure my dues get paid
Because alienation's for the rich
And I'm feeling poorer every day
Hey hey hey
Hey hey hey
Hey hey hey
Notes
＊Frequent live substitution： 'The TV's talking Spanish.'
18.The Day
Artist：John Flansburgh／John Linnell
The day Marvin Gaye and Phil Ochs got married
The trees all waved their giant arms
And happiness bled from every streetcorner
And biplanes bombed with fluffy pillows
The day Marvin Gaye and Phil Ochs got married
The trees all waved their giant arms
And happiness bled from every streetcorner
And biplanes bombed with fluffy pillows
19.Rhythm Section Want Ad
In a world we call our home there's lots of room to roam
Plenty of time to turn mistakes into rhyme
There's a place for those who love their poetry
It's just across from the sign that says, 'Pros only'
So if you like a band with a chick singer,
Say your cup of tea is a wall of trombones
If you dig Menudo, or MDC we salute you the way we know
For every one with dollar signs in his eyes
There must be hundreds who look at you as if you're some kind of
Rhythm section want ad
No others need apply to the rhythm section want ad
I'll tell you why
Hats off to the new age hairstyle made of bones
Hats off to the use of hats as megaphones
Speak softly, drive a Sherman tank
Laugh hard, it's a long way to the bank
Do you sing like Olive Oyl on purpose
You guys must be into the Eurythmics
For every one with dollar signs in his eyes
There must be hundreds who look at you as if you're some kind of
Rhythm section want ad
No others need apply to the rhythm section want ad
And here's the reason why
Hats off to the new age hairstyle made of bones
Hats off to the use of hats as megaphones
Speak softly, drive a Sherman tank
Laugh hard, it's a long way to the bank
Do you sing like Olive Oyl on purpose
You guys must be into the Eurythmics
For every one with dollar signs in his eyes
There must be hundreds who look at you as if you're some kind of
Rhythm section want ad
No others need apply to the rhythm section want ad
And here's the reason why
Rhythm section want ad
No others need apply to the rhythm section want ad
And here's the reason why
Why
Why
20.We're The Replacements
Vocal：John Linnell／John Flansburgh
Hi, we're the Replacements (hi)
Hi, we're the Replacements (hi)
Hi, we're the Replacements (hi)
And we're playing in a rock'n'roll band (we're playing in a
rock'n'roll band)
We're having a good time (we're)
We're having a good time (we're)
We're having a good time (we're)
Rock'n'rollin' 'til the break of dawn (Rock'n'rollin' 'til the
break of dawn)
Hey, where's Tommy？ Someone find Tommy
We're out on the road
Moving equipment, where's the equipment
Soon we're going home
Then we'll have a party (then)
Then we'll have a party (then)
Then we'll have a party (then)
Rock'n'rollin' 'til the break of dawn (Rock'n'rollin' 'til the
break of dawn)
Hi, we're the Replacements (hi)
Hi, we're the Replacements (hi)
Hi, we're the Replacements (hi)
And we're playing in a rock'n'roll band (we're playing in a
rock'n'roll band)
I don't wanna!
Hi
Hi
Hi
We're playing in a rock'n'roll band
We're
We're
We're
Rock'n'rollin' 'til the break of dawn
21.When It Rains It Snows
Vocal：John Flansburgh
There's a knock at the door that I adore
There's a face at the window, a smiling yellow face
There's a knock at the door
And if I were at home they'd find me there
There's a note on the door that I would see
And the furniture's barely been moved from where it was
There's a note on the door
And the note would say when it rains it snows
When it rains it snows, I wonder why
And now I know that when it rains it snows
There's a nut with a shotgun bang bang bang
There's a doctor, a waitress, a fireman with a hat
There's a nut with a gun
There's enough so they'll never know which one
When it rains it snows, I wonder why
And now I know that when it rains it snows
22.The Famous Polka
Vocal：John Flansburgh／John Linnell
The famous person wears the same size water skis as me
She's got three cars, as many years I've lived in this city
Her hair is blond and mine is brown, they both start with a B
But when the phone inside her rib cage rings it's not for me
But when the phone inside her rib cage rings it's not for me
Hey
Notes
This song is often played without lyrics when done live.
23.Untitled
Vocal：Gloria And Friends
What do you think--what do you make out of that recording？
I don't know, Gloria, I just--
Some kind of singing. They sound like all kinds of people,
right？
Yeah.
And then it says 'Another child is born in India every time you
call this number,' right？
Yeah, right.
Does that make any sense to you？
No, it doesn't make no sense to me.
And the guy that spoke--I don't know who he is.
Yeah.
But that--it doesn't sound like no answering machine, right？
No, it ain't an answering machine because they're not saying
anything, they're just--
But what does he get--how does he make money on this？ Whatever
he's advertising in the paper, that's the part that don't make
no sense.
Oh, he's advertising this in the paper you saw it.
In the Village Voice, yeah. They got--that's where the Kiss
Clinic, but they give you another number if you wanna join it.
And I got 'Intellectuals meet with other intellectuals.'
Yeah.
'Speak another language.'
Yeah. Oh.
They meet at La Mai--La Maisonette restaurant. They give you the
price. Then they give you another number to call if you're
interested. This guy, all you get is this here recording, but I
don't see how he makes money.
Yeah, yeah.
You know what I'm saying？ It's just--they got the craziest
things in that paper.
Yeah.
They come over with all--they got the craziest things. But this
one here-- 'There Must Be Giants,' it's called. And it says,
'Call machine,' and they got the phone number.
Yeah.
But what kind of money does he make？ It don't make no sense.
Well, he don't make any money, right？
No.
But, then--then he's a nut, right？ Do you see--do you see any
sense to that？ 'There May Be Giants？' That re--that recording I
have on. The new one. Did you hear it？ I changed it. I took off
the intellectuals. I put on There May Be Giants.
What？
Who's They May Be Giants？
What are you talking about？
That's what's on my--the phone, There May Be--argh, well I can't
explain it. 'Cause I don't know what it is. Look in the paper,
don't blame me if the guy's a nut.
24.For Science
Vocal：John Linnell／John Flansburgh／Lt.Anne Moore
There has been a spacecraft sighted
Flying high above the sky
Sirens declare there's one among us from Venus
Volunteers, we need volunteers
Soldiers to meet them
Have no fear
Have no fear
You will be killed right away
I will date the girl from Venus
Flowers die and so will I
Yes, I will kiss the girl from Venus for science
I'm so brave
I'm so brave
I'll be her love slave
He's so brave
He's so brave
He'll be her love slave forever
Yes, I will date the girl from Venus
Flowers die and so will I
Yes, I will kiss the girl from Venus for science
Let's get those missiles ready to destroy the universe!
25.The Biggest One
Vocal：John Flansburgh
The water running down that pipe
Looks like a snake to me
By 'Doc's Sugar Bowl' my coffee gets cold
Because I don't want to see that
I've got no one to blame but my fat self
I've got no one to blame but my fat self
I'm the biggest one
I'm the biggest one
I've got no one to blame but my fat self
Should have changed that stupid lock
Should have thrown away the key
No, no, not I, I will survive
Right down here on my knees 'cause
I've got no one to blame but my fat self
I've got no one to blame but my fat self
I'm the biggest one
I'm the biggest one
I've got no one to blame but my fat self
26.Kiss Me, Son Of God(Alternate Version)
Vocal：John Linnell／John Flansburgh
I built a little empire out of some crazy garbage
Called the blood of the exploited working class
But they've overcome their shyness
Now they're calling me Your Highness
And a world screams, 'Kiss me, Son of God'
I destroyed a bond of friendship and respect
Between the only people left who'd even look me in the eye
Now I laugh and make a fortune
Off the same ones that I tortured
And a world screams, 'Kiss me, Son of God'
I look like Jesus, so they say
But Mr. Jesus is very far away
Now you're the only one here who can tell me if it's true
That you love me and I love me
I built a little empire out of some crazy garbage
Called the blood of the exploited working class
But they've overcome their shyness
Now they're calling me Your Highness
And a world screams, 'Kiss me, Son of God'
Yes a world screams, 'Kiss me, Son of God'
Notes
The 'alternate version,' which is sung live, drops the last
line.
27.Mr. Klaw
Vocal：John Flansburgh
A claw is a claw
And, and, and nobody has seen a, a talking claw
Nobody has seen a talking claw
Unless, unless that claw is the famous, the famous
Unless that claw is the famous
Mr. Klaw
Mr. Klaw
Mr. Klaw
Mr. Klaw
(Mr. Klaw) Mr. Vanity Klaw
(Mr. Klaw) Mr. Lightning Bulb
(Mr. Klaw) Mr. Vanity Klaw
(Mr. Klaw) Mr. Dental Flaw
(Mr. Klaw) Mr. Vanity Klaw
28.Critic Intro
'Every once in a while a band comes along that changes the
course of human history, and that band is They Might Be Giants.'
Tom Poston, the New York Times.
'Like so many things I can't understand, they left my teeth
chattering for more.'
Peggy Cass, Aquarian Weekly
'Maestro! I say right on!'
Orson Bean, Sky and Telescope
'If you hear only one song this year, there's something terribly
wrong with you.'
Kitty Carlyle, Easy Riders
Ladies and gentlemen, do not be alarmed. Please remain perfectly
still. What you are about to see is real. The performers are not
grinning scarecrows sent here to torture and manipulate you.
Ladies and gentlemen, it is my pleasure to introduce the twin
quasars of rock. Please give a warm, friendly hand to They Might
Be Giants!
29.Now That I Have Everything
The mirror on the wall
Won't talk to me at all
Now that I have everything
The place inside the frame
Just doesn't look the same
Now that I have everything
I wasn't always so fortunate
But I knew what I had to do
To be well-to-do
And it had to do
With the things I had to do
And I don't want anything
I don't want anything
Now that I have everything
I can't tell things apart
I don't know where they start
Now there's everything don't remind me of yesterday
Put down that surfboard, no, please don't say
All the things I think I know that you're about to say
'Everything is everything,' is what you're just about to say
There was a program, sort of an inquiry
Into what would be
Just the thing for me
If it came to be
I would have to wait and see
And I don't want anything
I don't want anything
Now that I have everything
I can't tell things apart
I don't know where they start
Now that I have everything
And the mirror on the wall
Won't talk to me at all
Now that I have everything
The place inside the frame
Just doesn't look the same
Now there's everything don't remind me of yesterday
Now there's everything don't remind me of yesterday
Now there's everything don't remind me of yesterday (Babool
Babool)
Now there's everything don't remind me of yesterday (Babool
Babool)
Now there's everything don't remind me of yesterday (Babool
Babool)
Now there's everything don't remind me of yesterday (Babool
Babool)
Now there's everything don't remind me of yesterday (Babool
Babool)
Now there's everything don't remind me of yesterday (Babool
Babool)
Now there's everything don't remind me of yesterday (Babool
Babool)
Now there's everything don't remind me of yesterday (Babool
Babool)
Babool Babool
30.Mainstream U.S.A.
Can I have this last dance, my darling？
Can I have this last dance with you？
I wanna dance the whole night tonight
And can I have this last dance, my darling？
Can I have this last dance with you？
These are the words that he told to the fellow next door
Mainstream, U.S.A.
I flipped that guy the bird
Mainstream, U.S.A.
Is all I wanna say
Mainstream, U.S.A.
I flipped that guy the bird
Mainstream, U.S.A.
Is all I wanna say
We are the world (back off, fool)
We are (I'm talking to you)
We are the world (back off, fool)
Mainstream, U.S.A.
I flipped that guy the bird
Mainstream, U.S.A.
Is all I wanna say
Mainstream, U.S.A.
I flipped that guy the bird
Mainstream, U.S.A.
Is all I wanna say
Notes
The lyrics above are as heard on the original Dial-a-Song
version. The following verse is tacked on to the end of the LoFi
(DAS Online) version, and is sung superimposed with the first
verse in the Then version：
As I rode the subway this morning
There was a man with a boat beside me
And he tapped out rhythms with a smile on his face
And the tip of his finger
That he found on the floor
And these are the words that he told to the fellow next door
31.Fake Out In Buenos Aires
Fake out
Fake in
Fake it to me
What is fake？
Fake T.V.
Land of a thousand fake outs
Fake worse than death
In Buenos Aires
In Buenos Aires
Fake out
Fake in
Faker's delight
Fake your claim
Fake around the clock
Winner fake all
Three fakes, you're out
In Buenos Aires
In Buenos Aires
32.Greek #3
Some notes on how to pronounce certain things：
i, ei, y = pronounced like ee or ea, e.g., feel, read, etc.
ou= pronounced like oo, e.g., fool
Mono dyo tragoudia eho kai trito molis vgei
De ksero pou vrika to ptoma mia kai tote itan ekei
Tora periplanomai ston tafo tis mousikis
Gia ta dyo tragoudia kai to trito molis vgei
Enas plousios mou eipe fere kota kai zoumi
Ftohopaido mou eipe pos de mporei na pei
Kai tora perimeno san kota to Theo epi ti ghi
Mono dyo tragoudia eho kai trito molis vgei
De ksero pou vrika to ptoma mia kai tote itan ekei
Tora periplanomai ston tafo tis mousikis
Gia ta dyo tragoudia kai to trito molis vgei
Piga sto Lefko Iko kai rotao ton pyravlo
An pote den eixe complex i kati san afto
Ma arxise na paramilaei sa na itan stin TV
'Den exo mono dyo tragoudia
Apo mena thelis ti？'
Kainouri' agorasa stena blue jeans
Kai ena baglama
Kai eipa stis kyries na mou ferthoun evgenika
Gia na min exo typseis pos den pao makria
Gia ta dyo tragoudia kai to trito molis vgei
Here's a direct retranslation of Greek#3 from Greek back to
English. Some people thought it'd be fun to read. The English of
course is not correct, but I translated it literally. In Greek
too, some things sound weird. Like, the expression with the
'chicken and juice'. Never heard it before!
I just have two songs and a third one when it comes out＊
I don't know where I found the body＊＊ since then it was there
Now I'm wandering around music's grave
For the two songs and the third one when it comes out
A rich guy told me 'bring a chicken and juice' (!)
A poor guy told me that he can't tell
And now I'm waiting like a chicken for God on earth
I just have two songs and a third one when it comes out
I don't know where I found the body since it was there then
Now I'm wandering around music's grave
For the two songs and the third one when it comes out
I went to the White House and asked the rocket (!)
If he ever had a complex or something of the sort
but he started babbling like he as on TV
'I don't have just two songs
What do you want from me？'
I bought some new, tight bluejeans
and a 'baglama'＊＊＊
And I told the ladies to be nice to me
So that I won't feel guilty for not going far
For the two songs and the third one when it comes out
＊ literally 'as soon as' but it would be too long
＊＊ literally 'dead body', cadaver
＊＊＊ a very tiny traditional greek guitar-like instrument, a tiny
'bouzouki'
33.Hope That I Get Old Before I Die(Original Version)
Sometimes I feel like being wispy
And once in a while I feel like being dry
But we're doomed and we're drowned by this feeling we surround
So I hope that I get old before I die
Ohhhhh
It's a long, long rope they use to hang you soon I hope
And I wonder why this hasn't happened
Why why why
And I think about the dirt that I'll be wearing for a shirt
And I hope that I get old before I die
Clear off the kitchen table darling
For on the kitchen table I must lie
I'm just tired for my wife just served the banquet of my life
And I hope that I get old before I die
Ohhhhh
It's a long, long rope they use to hang you soon I hope
And I wonder why this hasn't happened
Why why why
And I think about the dirt that I'll be wearing for a shirt
And I hope that I get old before I die
Ohhhhh
It's a long, long rope they use to hang you soon I hope
And I wonder why this hasn't happened
Why why why
And I think about the dirt that I'll be wearing for a shirt
And I hope that I get old before I die
Notes
The 'Original Version' of this song on Then omits the last line
of the second-to-last chorus and the entire last chorus.
34.I'm Def
Vocal：John Flansburgh／John Linnell
Can we do that？
Can we do that？
I'm def
I'm def
I'm def
I'm listening to the radio
Got a job as a test pilot
Yes I got a job as a test pilot
I'm def
I never listen to the
I never listen to
I never listen to the ra-
I'm def
Got a job as a test pilot
Yes I got a job as a test pilot
I'm listening to the radio
We have our own song and we want to get it recorded
We have our own song and we want to get it recorded
We have our own song and we want to get it recorded
We have our own song and we want to get it recorded＊
We have our own song and we want to get it recorded＊
Can we do that？＊
Why don't you leave a message＊
Notes
＊The last lines are omitted in the Then： The Earlier Years
recording.
35.Don't Let's Start(Demo Version)
Vocal：John Linnell
Don't don't don't let's start
This is the worst part
Could believe for all the world
That you're my precious little girl
But don't don't don't let's start
I've got a weak heart
And I don't get around how you get around
When you are alone you are the cat, you are the phone
You are an animal
The words I'm singing now
Mean nothing more than meow to an animal
Wake up and smell the cat food in your bank account
But don't try to stop the tail that wags the hound
D, world destruction
Over and overture
N, do I need
Apostrophe T, need this torture？
Don't don't don't let's start
This is the worst part
Could believe for all the world
That you're my precious little girl
But don't don't don't let's start
I've got a weak heart
And I don't get around how you get around
No one in the world ever gets what they want and that is
beautiful
Everybody dies frustrated and sad and that is beautiful
They want what they're not and I wish they would stop saying,
Deputy dog dog a ding dang depadepa
Deputy dog dog a ding dang depadepa
D, world destruction
Over and overture
N, do I need
Apostrophe T, need this torture？
Don't don't don't let's start
This is the worst part
Could believe for all the world
That you're my precious little girl
But don't don't don't let's start
I've got a weak heart
And I don't get around how you get around
I don't want to live in this world anymore
I don't want to live in this world
Don't don't don't let's start
This is the worst part
Could believe for all the world
That you're my precious little girl
But don't don't don't let's start
I've got a weak heart
And I don't get around how you get around
Notes
The demo version of this song has an abbreviated form of the
lyrics above.
Essentially, it consists of the chorus, the 'I don't want to
live' bit, and another chorus.
36.'85 Radio Special Thank You
Hello.
They Might Be Giants are happy to be on a radio program for the
first time in their long-illustrious careers.
1985 has been a very good year for They Might Be Giants.
In January, Bill began at a new school.
Everyone liked him, And he likes everything.
In March, we were all trapped deep inside a subway car racing
down tracks going faster and much faster untin they never let us
out a full ten blocks later. In April, we all sang a duet with
Tina Turner. In a way it was nice, and it was our favorite song.
But we spent the entire summer resting up, looking for some
vital link missing in the big picture. Bill said he had found
it, but in fact he had lost it. Well, in September Bill chipped
a tooth skyriding far above the Planet Earth. And then came the
end of the year when we were on our very last radio show,
which we are glad that you have become a part of.
Thank you for listening to They Might Be Giants.
We do have a Dial-a-Song service at 718-387-6962.
Service at 718-387-6962. Thank you.
37.Ana Ng
Vocal：John Linnell
Make a hole with a gun perpendicular
To the name of this town in a desk-top globe
Exit wound in a foreign nation
Showing the home of the one this was written for
My apartment looks upside down from there
Water spirals the wrong way out the sink
And her voice is a backwards record
It's like a whirlpool and it never ends
Ana Ng and I are getting old
And we still haven't walked in the glow of each other's majestic
presence
Listen Ana hear my words
They're the ones you would think I would say if there was a me
for you
All alone at the '64 World's Fair
Eighty dolls yelling 'Small girl after all'
Who was at the Dupont Pavilion？
Why was the bench still warm？ Who had been there？
Or the time when the storm tangled up the wire
To the horn on the pole at the bus depot
And in the back of the edge of hearing
These are the words the voice was repeating：
Ana Ng and I are getting old
And we still haven't walked in the glow of each other's majestic
presence
Listen Ana hear my words
They're the ones you would think I would say if there was a me
for you
When I was driving once I saw this painted on a bridge：
'I don't want the world, I just want your half'
They don't need me here, and I know you're there (don't need me)
Where the world goes by like the humid air (world goes by)
And it sticks like a broken record
Everything sticks like a broken record
Everything sticks until it goes away (it goes home)
And the truth is, we don't know anything (don't know)
Ana Ng and I are getting old
And we still haven't walked in the glow of each other's majestic
presence
Listen Ana hear my words
They're the ones you would think I would say if there was a me
for you
Ana Ng and I are getting old
And we still haven't walked in the glow of each other's majestic
presence
Listen Ana hear my words
They're the ones you would think I would say if there was a me
for you
Ana Ng and I are getting old
And we still haven't walked in the glow of each other's majestic
presence
Listen Ana hear my words
They're the ones you would think I would say if there was a me
for you
38.Cowtown
Vocal：John Flansburgh／John Linnell
I'm going down to Cowtown
The cow's a friend to me
Lives beneath the ocean and that's where I will be
Beneath the waves, the waves
And that's where I will be
I'm gonna see the cow beneath the sea
The yellow Roosevelt Avenue leaf overturned
The ardor of arboreality is an adventure we have spurned, we've
spurned
A new leaf overturned
It's a new leaf overturned
And so I'm going down to Cowtown
The cow's a friend to me
Lives beneath the ocean and that's where I will be
Beneath the waves, the waves
And that's where I will be
I'm gonna see the cow beneath the sea
We yearn to swim for home, but our only home is bone
How sleepless is the egg knowing that which throws the stone
Foresees the bone, the bone
Our only home is bone
Our only home is bone
And so I'm going down to Cowtown
The cow's a friend to me
Lives beneath the ocean and that's where I will be
Beneath the waves, the waves
And that's where I will be
I'm gonna see the cow beneath the sea
Yes I'm going down to Cowtown
The cow's a friend to me
Lives beneath the ocean and that's where I will be
Beneath the waves, the waves
And that's where I will be
I'm gonna see the cow beneath the sea
Yes I'm gonna see (I'm gonna see)
The cow (the cow)
Beneath the sea
39.Lie Still, Little Bottle
Vocal：John Flansburgh
Lie still, little bottle, and shake my shaky hand
Black coffee's not enough for me, I need a better friend
One pill at the bottom is singing my favorite song
I know I must investigate
I hope that I can sing along
There's no time for metaphors cried the little pill to me
He said, 'Life is a placebo masquerading as a simile'＊
Well, I knew that pill was lying
Too gregarious, too nice
But as he walked I had to sing this twice
Lie still, little bottle
Don't twist, it ain't twistin' time
With every move you make you just disintegrate my ever-troubled
mind
Lie still, little bottle, and shake my shaky hand
Black coffee's not enough for me, I need a better friend
One pill at the bottom is singing my favorite song
I know I must investigate
I hope that I can sing along
Lie still, little bottle
Lie still
Lie still, little bottle
Lie still
Lie still
Lie still
Notes
＊The Frank O'Toole demo version： 'I need to get some shuteye, I
wish that you could let me be.'
The entire lyrics for the original Dial-a-Song version were：
As I lie still
Lie still
Lie still, little bottle
40.Purple Toupee
Vocal：John Linnell／John Flansburgh
I remember the year I went to camp
I heard about some lady named Selma and some blacks
Somebody put their fingers in the President's ears
It wasn't too much later they came out with Johnson's wax
I remember the book depository where they crowned the king of
Cuba
Now that's all I can think of, but I'm sure there's something
else
Way down inside me I can feel it coming back
Purple toupee will show the way when summer brings you down
(Purple toupee when summer brings you down)
Purple toupee and gold lame will turn your brain around
(Purple toupee and gold lame)
Chinese people were fighting in the park
We tried to help them fight, no one appreciated that
Martin X was mad when they outlawed bell bottoms
Ten years later they were sharing the same cell
I shouted out, 'Free the Expo '67'
Till they stepped on my hair, and they told me I was fat
Now I'm very big, I'm a big important man
And the only thing that's different is underneath my hat
Purple toupee will show the way when summer brings you down
(Purple toupee when summer brings you down)
Purple toupee and gold lame will turn your brain around
(Purple toupee and gold lame)
Purple toupee is here to stay after the hair has gone away
The purple brigade is marching from the grave
We're on some kind of mission
We have an obligation
We have to wear toupees
41.Cage ＆ Aquarium
Vocal：John Flansburgh／John Linnell
Somebody's reading your mind
Damned if you know who it is
they're digging through all of your files
Stealing back your best ideas
You cover your windows with lead
Even keeping the pets outside
Then you hear a moment too late this sound coming over the phone
This is the spawning of the cage and aquarium
Don't wait a moment too soon
Used to be different, now you're the same
Yawn as your plane goes down in flames
this is the spawning of the cage and aquarium
Don't wait a moment too soon
Used to be different, now you're the same
Yawn as your plane goes down in flames
42.Where Your Eyes Don't Go
Vocal：John Linnell
Where your eyes don't go a filthy scarecrow waves its broomstick
arms
And does a parody of each unconscious thing you do
When you turn around to look it's gone behind you
On its face it's wearing your confused expression
Where your eyes don't go
Where your eyes don't go a part of you is hovering
It's a nightmare that you'll never be discovering
You're free to come and go or talk like Kurtis Blow
But there's a pair of eyes in back of your head
Every jumbled pile of person has a thinking part that wonders
What the part that isn't thinking isn't thinking of
Should you worry when the skullhead is in front of you
Or is it worse because it's always waiting where your eyes don't
go？
Where your eyes don't go a part of you is hovering
It's a nightmare that you'll never be discovering
You're free to come and go or talk like Kurtis Blow
But there's a pair of eyes in back of your head
Where your eyes don't go a filthy scarecrow waves its broomstick
arms
And does a parody of each unconscious thing you do
When you turn around to look it's gone behind you
On its face it's wearing your confused expression
Where your eyes don't go
Notes
The instrumental section in the bridge is occasionally sung when
performed live.
The lyrics are 'Someone's in the kitchen with Dinah, someone's
in the kitchen I know.'
43.Piece Of Dirt
Vocal：John Flansburgh／John Linnell
Piece of dirt, that is all I'm standing on today
Piece of dirt, the whole world has slipped away
I would climb the highest mountain just to jump into a fountain
Or to fly, I'd fly away
A woman's voice on the radio can convince you you're in love
A woman's voice on the telephone can convince you you're alone
But I set my sails so long ago they've revoked my sailor's badge
Said I should be content and happy on this ink spot where I
stand
Piece of dirt, that is all I'm standing on today
Piece of dirt, the whole world has slipped away
I find myself haunted by a spooky man named me
I wish that I could jump out of my skin
44.Mr. Me
Vocal：John Linnell
Once a boy named Mister Me bemoaned a great regret
I've floundered in the misty sea, but can't abide its mystery
I wound up sad, you bet
So onward go and Edward Ho into the bounding main
Enjoy the show look out below but mind the misty sea
Or end up sad like Mister Me
He ended up sad
He ended up sad
He ended up really, really, really sad
He ended up sad
He ended up sad
He ended up really, really, really sad
So take the hand of Mister Me and mister, make him glad
To swim the Mister Misty Sea and cease the Mister Mystery
That mister, made him sad
He ended up sad
He ended up sad
He ended up really, really, really sad
He ended up sad
He ended up sad
He ended up really, really, really sad
He ended up sad
He ended up sad
He ended up really, really, really sad
He ended up sad
He ended up sad
He ended up really, really, really sad
45.Pencil Rain
Vocal：John Linnell
The possible dream
Finale of seem
The moment that some call eternal that some call insane
Now helmets on each head awaiting the first lead
The pageant is named the pencil rain
The infantry stands
And holds out its hands
The marshal's binoculars focus and skyward they train
They're searching the yonder blue
They look out for number two
The heraldry of the pencil rain
And now hear the roar that none can ignore
The thunderous clatter of splintering wood and lives that are
claimed
And none who have witnessed all
Can think of a nobler cause than perishing in the pencil rain
The pencil rain
The pencil rain
The pencil rain
46.The World's Address
Vocal：John Flansburgh／John Linnell
I know you deceived me, couldn't sleep last night
Now my tear stains on the wall reflect an ugly sight
I can see your secrets
No need to confess
Everyone looks naked when you know the world's address
The world's address
A place that's worn
A sad pun that reflects a sadder mess
I'll repeat it for those who may not have already guessed
The world's address
Life's parade of fashion just leaves me depressed
Under every garment I can see the world's address
Call the men of science and let them hear this song
Tell them Albert Einstein and Copernicus were wrong
The world's address
A place that's worn
A sad pun that reflects a sadder mess
I'll repeat it for those who may not have already guessed
The world's address
Call the men of science and let them hear this song
Tell them Albert Einstein and Copernicus were wrong
The world's address
A place that's worn
A sad pun that reflects a sadder mess
I'll repeat it for those who may not have already guessed
The world's address
A place that's worn
A sad pun that reflects a sadder mess
I'll say it one more time for those who may not have already
guessed
The world's address
47.I've Got A Match
Vocal：John Linnell／John Flansburgh
Get out of the car
Put down the phone
Take off that stupid looking hat you wear
I'm going to die if you touch me one more time
Well I guess that I'm going to die no matter what
Love people are there
The smell of love is everywhere
You think it's always sensitive and good
You think that I want to be understood
I've got a match
Your embrace and my collapse
Beat up the cat if you need someone else on the mat
I put a rock in the coffee in your coffee mug
Which one of us is the one that we can't trust？
You say that I think it's you but I don't agree with that
Love people are there
The smell of love is everywhere
You think it's always sensitive and good
You think that I want to be understood
I've got a match
Your embrace and my collapse
even when we get along
I've got a match
Your embrace and my collapse
Love people are there
The smell of love is everywhere
Why can't you be sensitive and good
Why don't you want to be understood
I've got a match
Your embrace and my collapse
I've got a match
Your embrace and my collapse
48.Santa's Beard
Vocal：John Flansburgh／John Linnell
Once a year my friend puts on a red suit
And hangs around with me and my wife
Now I can't help but feeling jealous each time she climbs on his
knee
And she stands beneath the mistletoe screaming
For him to stand beneath the mistletoe screaming
Now I can't help but feeling jealous each time she climbs on his
knee
Why must she climb on his knee？
I saw my baby wearing Santa's beard
She kissed him once and whispered in his ear
I saw my baby wearing Santa's beard
I wish he would go
He's breaking up my home
She always had this twisted side to her＊
But she'd never drag my name around town
But lately she's been humming cheating songs
And I don't like that fat guy around
No, I don't like that fat guy around
I saw my baby wearing Santa's beard
She kissed him once and whispered in his ear
I saw my baby wearing Santa's beard
I wish he would go
He's breaking up my home
I saw my baby wearing Santa's beard
Thrilling Christmas, trembling fear
I saw my baby wearing Santa's beard
I wish he would go
He's breaking up my home
Notes
＊Dial-a-Song： 'a wicked sense of humor.'
49.You'll Miss Me
Vocal：John Flansburgh／John Linnell
You'll always miss my big old body
In its prime and never shoddy,
While bloodhounds wait down in the lobby you'll eulogize my big
old body
You'll miss me with effigies
Lighting up your house like Xmas trees
As tears roll down below your knees
You'll miss me with effigies
Go find a man to fit my shoes
Left one's old and the right one's new
And I bought the right one just for you
Go find a man to fit my shoes
You'll see my teeth in the stars above
Every tree a finger of my glove
And every time push comes to shove
You'll see my teeth in the stars above
Your money talks but my genius walks
Morticians wait with a shovel and a fork
As detectives trace my hands with chalk
Your money talks but my genius walks
You'll miss me so
You will miss me
It must be raining because a man ain't supposed to cry
But I look up and I don't see a cloud
50.They'll Need A Crane
Vocal：John Linnell
Love sees love's happiness
But happiness can't see that love is sad
That love is sad
Sadness is hanging there
To show love somewhere something needs a change
They need a change
They'll need a crane, they'll need a crane
To take the house he built for her apart
To make it break it's gonna take a metal ball hung from a chain
They'll need a crane, they'll need a crane
To pick the broken ruins up again
To mend her heart, to help him start to see a world apart from
pain
Lad's gal is all he has
Gal's gladness hangs upon the love of lad
The love of lad
Some things gal says to lad aren't meant as bad
But cause a little pain
They cause him pain
They'll need a crane, they'll need a crane
To take the house he built for her apart
To make it break it's gonna take a metal ball hung from a chain
They'll need a crane, they'll need a crane
To pick the broken ruins up again
To mend her heart, to help him start to see a world apart from
pain
Don't call me at work again no no the boss still hates me
I'm just tired and I don't love you anymore
And there's a restaurant we should check out where
The other nightmare people like to go
I mean nice people, baby wait,
I didn't mean to say nightmare
Lad looks at other gals
Gal thinks Jim Beam is handsomer than lad
He isn't bad
Call off the wedding band
Nobody wants to hear that one again
Play that again
They'll need a crane, they'll need a crane
To take the house he built for her apart
To make it break it's gonna take a metal ball hung from a chain
They'll need a crane, they'll need a crane
To pick the broken ruins up again
To mend her heart, to help him start to see a world apart from
pain
They'll need a crane, they'll need a crane
They'll need a crane, they'll need a crane
They'll need a crane, they'll need a crane
They'll need a crane, they'll need a crane
They'll need a crane
51.Shoehorn With Teeth
Vocal：John Linnell／John Flansburgh
He wants a shoehorn, the kind with teeth
People should get beat up for stating their beliefs
He wants a shoehorn, the kind with teeth
Because he knows there's no such thing
He asks a girl if they can both sit in a chair but he doesn't
get nervous
She's not really there
He wants a shoehorn, the kind with teeth
Because he knows there's no such thing
Tour the world in a heavy metal band
But they run out of gas
The plane can never land
He wants a shoehorn, the kind with teeth
People should get beat up for stating their beliefs
He wants a shoehorn, the kind with teeth
Because he knows there's no such thing
What's the sense in ever thinking about the tomb
When you're much too busy returning to the womb？
He wants a shoehorn, the kind with teeth
People should get beat up for stating their beliefs
He wants a shoehorn, the kind with teeth
Because he knows there's no such thing
52.Stand On Your Own Head
Vocal：John Linnell
I like people, they're the ones who can't stand
They're the ones who can't stand
I see smoke signals coming from them
They say 'We are out of furniture'
Stand on your own head for a change
Give me some skin to call my own
Stand on your own head for a change
Give me some skin to call my own
You made my day, now you have to sleep in it
Now you have to sleep in it
I love the world and if I have to sue for custody,
I will sue for custody
Stand on your own head for a change
Give me some skin to call my own
Stand on your own head for a change
Give me some skin to call my own
Stand on your own head
Stand on your own head for a change
Stand on your own head
53.Snowball In Hell
Vocal：John Flansburgh／John Linnell
Avalanche or roadblock
I was a snowball in hell
Avalanche or roadblock
A jailer trapped in his cell
Money's all broke, and food's going hungry
If it wasn't for disappointment
I wouldn't have any appointments
Side effect or drug trip
Don't tease me with all of your might
Side effect or drug trip
My panacea's in a Xerox shop
Have a nice day, you want it when？
Have a nice day, have a nice day
I didn't expect to find a salesman drinking coffee this late in
the morning. How long you been here, Joe？
Oh, I don't know, I guess thirty, forty-five minutes maybe. Why
do you ask？
You must be making a lot of sales, piling up good income.
Oh... uh... I'm doing all right. I could do better, but...
Ohahaha I get it Paul. Back on that old 'Time is Money' kick,
right？
Not back on it, Joe, still on it.
Avalanche or roadblock
I was a snowball in hell
Avalanche or roadblock
A jailer trapped in his cell
Money I owe, money-iy-ay
Money I owe, money-iy-ay
Avalanche or roadblock
I was a snowball in hell
Notes
The Frank O'Toole demo version adds more of the spoken dialogue
ad nauseum as follows：
Okay, okay
Okay, okay, okay let's
Okay, okay
Okay, okay, okay let's
Okay, okay
Okay, okay, okay let's
Avalanche or roadblock
I was a snowball in hell
Avalanche or roadblock
A jailer trapped in his cell
Money's all broke, and food's going hungry
If it wasn't for disappointment
I wouldn't have any appointments
Did I affect your drug trip
Don't tease me with all of your might
Did I affect your drug trip
You threw my wallet in the wishing well
Have a nice day, you want it when？
Have a nice day, have a nice day
I didn't expect to find a salesman drinking coffee this late in
the morning. How long you been here, Joe？
Oh, I don't know, I guess thirty, forty-five minutes maybe. Why
do you ask？
You must be making a lot of sales, piling up good income.
Oh... uh... I'm doing all right. I could do better, but...
Ohahaha I get it Paul. Back on that old 'Time is Money' kick,
right？
Not back on it, Joe, still on it.
Avalanche or roadblock
I was a snowball in hell
Avalanche or roadblock
A jailer trapped in his cell
Money's all broke, and food's going hungry
If it wasn't for disappointment
I wouldn't have any appointments
Avalanche or roadblock
Yes, I was a snowball in hell
I was a snowball in hell
Not back on it, Joe, still on it.
Not back on it, Joe, still on it.
Not back on it, Joe, still on it.
54.Kiss Me, Son Of God
Vocal：John Linnell／John Flansburgh
I built a little empire out of some crazy garbage
Called the blood of the exploited working class
But they've overcome their shyness
Now they're calling me Your Highness
And a world screams, 'Kiss me, Son of God'
I destroyed a bond of friendship and respect
Between the only people left who'd even look me in the eye
Now I laugh and make a fortune
Off the same ones that I tortured
And a world screams, 'Kiss me, Son of God'
I look like Jesus, so they say
But Mr. Jesus is very far away
Now you're the only one here who can tell me if it's true
That you love me and I love me
I built a little empire out of some crazy garbage
Called the blood of the exploited working class
But they've overcome their shyness
Now they're calling me Your Highness
And a world screams, 'Kiss me, Son of God'
Yes a world screams, 'Kiss me, Son of God'
Notes
The 'alternate version,' which is sung live, drops the last
line.
55.Hello Radio
Vocal：John Linnell
Hello
Hello
Hello
56.It's Not My Birthday
Vocal：John Linnell
Well the rain falls down without my help I'm afraid
And my lawn gets wet though I've withheld my consent
When this grey world crumbles like a cake
I'll be hanging from the hope
That I'll never see that recipe again
As I walk, I think about a new way to walk
As I think, I'm using up the time left to think
And this train keep rolling off the track
Trying to act like something else
Trying to go where it's been uninvited
It's not my birthday
It's not today
It's not my birthday, so why do you lunge out at me？
When the word comes down, 'Never more will be around'
Though I'll wish you were there, I was less than we could bear
And I'm not the only dust my mother raised
So, I'm rattling the bars around this drink tank
Discreetly I should pour through the keyhole or evaporate
completely
But there'd be no percentage, and there'd be no proof
And the sound upon the roof is only water
And the rain falls down without my help I'm afraid
And my lawn gets wet though I've withheld my consent
When this grey world crumbles like a cake
I'll be hanging from the hope
That I'll never see that recipe again
It's not my birthday
It's not today
It's not my birthday, so why do you lunge out at me？
When the word comes down, 'Never more will be around'
Though I'll wish you were there, I was less than we could bear
And I'm not the only dust my mother raised
I am not the only dust my mother raised
57.I'll Sink Manhattan
Vocal：John Flansburgh
I'll sink Manhattan
Right under the sea
I'll find the sweetest spot to watch
As it goes away
You were so happy
With the things that you said
Like, 'He's my lower half,' you laughed
But you're going to cry
A river of tiny tears flow from your crocodile eyes
Too late to apologize, I say, as flood waters rise
I'll sink Manhattan
I'll sacrifice friends
I think they'd understand my plan
I'll never be sure
I've got a message
So before I get through
I'll find your answering machine
And I'll sink it first
Burn your forget-me-nots
Admit that true love can die
No, I won't apologize, my love, just kiss me goodbye
58.Nightgown Of The Sullen Moon
Vocal：John Linnell
Fell in the door
And you fell on the floor
With your hand on the knob
Looking up and abruptly
Forget what you're thinking
Fire alarms go off in your head
You live
In the nightgown of the sullen moon
How the windows lean into the room
In the nightgown of the sullen moon
Drug trip, it's not a drug trip so you feel a bit insulted
Space walk, it's like a space walk with the corresponding weight
loss
And you're nothing but air, with your hand in the air
And your shoelaces tied up together with care
There's a feeling of boredom
Of the big whoredom
Following dressing up
In the nightgown of the sullen moon
How the windows lean into the room
In the nightgown of the sullen moon
In the nightgown of the sullen moon
How the windows lean into the room
In the nightgown of the sullen moon
Your head is on the moon
It's not necessary to breathe
Forever is a long time
Your head is on the moon
It's not necessary to breathe
Forever is a long time
Your head is on the moon
Your head is on the moon
59.The World's Address(Joshua Fried Re-Mix)
Vocal：John Flansburgh／John Linnell
I know you deceived me, couldn't sleep last night
Now my tear stains on the wall reflect an ugly sight
I can see your secrets
No need to confess
Everyone looks naked when you know the world's address
The world's address
A place that's worn
A sad pun that reflects a sadder mess
I'll repeat it for those who may not have already guessed
The world's address
Life's parade of fashion just leaves me depressed
Under every garment I can see the world's address
Call the men of science and let them hear this song
Tell them Albert Einstein and Copernicus were wrong
The world's address
A place that's worn
A sad pun that reflects a sadder mess
I'll repeat it for those who may not have already guessed
The world's address
Call the men of science and let them hear this song
Tell them Albert Einstein and Copernicus were wrong
The world's address
A place that's worn
A sad pun that reflects a sadder mess
I'll repeat it for those who may not have already guessed
The world's address
A place that's worn
A sad pun that reflects a sadder mess
I'll say it one more time for those who may not have already
guessed
The world's address
60.Hey, Mr. Dj, I Thought You Said We Had A Deal
Vocal：John Linnell
I could never sleep my way to the top
'Cause my alarm clock always wakes me right up
And since my options had been whittled away
I struck a bargain with my radio DJ
I said I'd like this song to be number one
He said 'I'd really really like to help you my son'
And then I knew that I would have him to thank
Because he asked me how much I had in the bank
He said to think long term investment and
That all the others had forgiven themselves
He said the net reward would justify
The colossal mess they'd made of their lives
He said the record wouldn't have to be hot
And no one ever seemed to care if it's not
It would depend on something else that I've got
And that the other ones who'd given it a shot
Had seen a modest sum grow geometrically
And then they had forgiven themselves
Because the net reward had justified
The colossal mess they'd made of their lives＊
Hey Mr. DJ, I thought you said we had a deal
I thought you said, 'You scratch my back and I'll scratch your
record'
And I thought you said we had a deal
Well, I told you about the world (its address)
I wonder when they're gonna clean up the mess
You know the rabid child is still tuning in
Chess piece face's patience must be wearing thin
Because they haven't played this song on the air
Not that anyone but me even cared
And the Disk Jockey has moved out of town
The district courthouse says he's nowhere to be found
He said to think long term investment and
That all the others had forgiven themselves
He said the net reward would justify
The colossal mess they'd made of their lives
Hey Mr. DJ, I thought you said we had a deal
I thought you said, 'You scratch my back and I'll scratch your
record'
And I thought you said we had a deal
Notes
＊These four lines, in the Dial-a-Song version, are substituted
with：
Had gone and made the world their oyster
And that everybody had forgiven themselves
They know the net reward justifies
The colossal mess they'd made of their lives
61.Lady Is A Tramp
Vocal：Carla Thomas
Yeah
Yeah
Tramp
62.Birds Fly
Vocal：John Flansburgh
Birds fly into my windshield
Thoughts fall from my thoughts
This good luck charm hanging off my arm
Was left here by the police
Words fall out of my pockets
And cats dance under my feet
This colorful spell under which I live
Protects me from all I write
And the microscope reveals the scope
Of my very best intentions (best intentions)
Yes, the tiny light shines twice as bright
On the only nice part of me
Birds fly into my windshield
Thoughts fall from my thoughts
This good luck charm hanging off my arm
Was left here by the police
And the microscope reveals the scope
Of my very best intentions (best intentions)
Oh yes the tiny light shines twice as bright
On the only nice part of me
63.Kitten Intro
There's something coming. There's a new car on the horizon.
It's coming very slowly. It makes a noise.
It has kittens painted all over it. With a new kind of fur.
Cleaner, but with a unique smell.
Yet, one of these kittens is not prepared to have a good time.
It stands alone. Away from the crowd.
It's your kind of kitten.
Now the time has come to climb into that car and to shake the
paw of destiny.
No... no... They Might Be Giants are not Satanists.
They are not posing as an easy-listening Nazi rock band trying
to lure intellectuals into believing what they already know to
be true.
No. Listen to the sound of my voice. Put away your big blue
cigars.
And make way... yes, make way, ladies and gentlemen... for They
Might Be Giants!
64.Weep Day
I never went to the tropical island
Though everybody said they saw me there
And it wasn't me you punched a hole in
At the West German protest march
Simultaneous events don't happen
We are isolated temporally
And a part is never called the whole thing
Though it bothers us to know it's so
Every man is made of two opinions
Every woman has a second half
And it's samba time for Tambo and Weep Day for Urine Man (samba
time for Tambo and Weep Day for Urine Man)
Yes, it's samba time for Tambo and Weep Day for Urine Man (samba
time for Tambo and Weep Day for Urine Man)
I didn't write the words you hear me singing (didn't write the
words you hear me singing)
I didn't sing the line before this one (didn't sing the line
before this one)
You are not the one I was addressing (you are not the one I was
addressing)
That person took a train to Africa (Africa)
Where he met the consulate from Belgium
Who is now a Buddhist in a cave
Who is pitching for the Oakland Raiders
Striking out the batter she became
Every man is made of two opinions
Every woman has a second half
And it's samba time for Tambo and Weep Day for Urine Man (samba
time for Tambo and Weep Day for Urine Man)
Yes, it's samba time for Tambo and Weep Day for Urine Man (samba
time for Tambo and Weep Day for Urine Man)
Yes, it's samba time for Tambo and Weep Day for Urine Man (samba
time for Tambo and Weep Day for Urine Man)
Weep Day for Urine Man (Weep Day for Urine Man)
Weep Day for Urine Man (Weep Day for Urine Man)
Weep Day for Urine Man (Weep Day for Urine Man)
Weep Day Weep Day
Weep Day Weep Day
Weep Day Weep Day
Weep (Weep) Weep (Weep) Weep (Weep) Weep (Weep)
Weep (Weep) Weep (Weep) Weep (Weep) Weep (Weep)
Weep (Weep) Weep (Weep) Weep (Weep) Weep (Weep)
Weep (Weep) Weep (Weep) Weep (Weep) Weep (Weep)
Weep (Weep) Weep (Weep) Weep (Weep) Weep (Weep)
Weep (Weep) Weep (Weep) Weep (Weep)
65.The Big Big Whoredom
Come on baby turn that frown upside down
Tell me why you ain't been around
What is it brings you down？
We work the hardest to be the smartest (we work)
We work the hardest to be the smartest (we work)
We work the hardest to be the smartest (we work)
We work the hardest to be the smartest (we work)
And the big big whoredom scared me
No, no, baby I ain't convinced it ain't so bad as you paint it
There's plenty more heads of hair for us out there
We'll strike it rich, a monster switch (monster)
We'll strike it rich, a monster switch (monster)
We'll strike it rich, a monster switch (monster)
We'll strike it rich, a monster switch (monster)
But the big big whoredom scares me (no no it doesn't do that)
The big big whoredom scares me (no no don't be sad)
The big big whoredom scares me (please please stop it)
The big big whoredom scares me (don't don't)
The big big whoredom scares me (please)
The big big whoredom scares me (no)
The big big whoredom scares me
The big big whoredom scares me
The big big whoredom scares me
66.I'm Gettin' Sentimental Over You(Adaptation)
Never thought I'd fall
But now I hear the call
I'm getting sentimental over you
Things you say and do
Just thrill me through and through
I'm getting sentimental over you
Once I wondered why
I'd sit at home and sigh
I'm getting sentimental over you
Words cannot describe
This poetry inside
I'm getting sentimental over you
I thought I was happy, I could live with myself
Now I see that love is all that I'm thinking of
Won't you please be kind
And just make up your mind
That you'll be sweet and gentle
Be gentle with me
'Cause I'm getting sentimental over you
I thought I was happy, I could live with myself
Now I see that love is all that I'm thinking of
Won't you please be kind
And just make up your mind
That you'll be sweet and gentle
Be gentle with me
'Cause I'm getting sentimental over you
67.Become A Robot
Here's hoping you don't (hoping you don't)
Become a robot (clang clang)
Clang, clang, whoops, too late
Here's hoping you don't (hoping you don't)
Become a robot (clang clang)
Clang, clang, whoops, too late
Let's stick together 'cause we're number 8＊
Let's stick to numbers 'cause we're great＊
Here's hoping you don't (hoping you don't)
Become a robot (clang clang)
Clang, clang, whoops, too late
Hey!
Wait!
Here's hoping you don't (hoping you don't)
Harbor a deathwish＊ (help help)
Help, help, help yourself
Here's hoping you don't (hoping you don't)
Harbor a deathwish＊ (help help)
Help, help, help yourself
Hip, hip, horrific are the words we sing
Hip, hip, horrific is our thing
Here's hoping you don't (hoping you don't)
Become a robot (help help)
Help, help, help, help
Help, help, help
Notes
＊These lines are disputable.
The liner notes to Then： The Earlier Years claim that the lines
in the first bridge are as written here,
and that in the second verse the line is 'harbor a wishnik.
' Many fans claim to hear 'harbor a deathwish' or 'harbor a
penguin,' but 'deathwish' seems the most likely. Others hear
'number A／'cause we're gray' in the first bridge
rather than what is printed here.
68.Which Describes How You're Feeling
Vocal：John Linnell
Which describes how you're feeling all the time
Which describes how you're feeling all the
Feeling all the time
There's this guy in the sky and he makes you want to
Want to make you sigh, like the time
When you felt like you're feeling all the time
And you sighed at the cracks in the ceiling all the time
You said 'I'm feeling fine' but it didn't really rhyme
It didn't rhyme, overseas
Which describes how you're feeling all the time
It describes how you're feeling
Which describes how you're feeling all the time
When you lie that your life's unappealing all the time
But your lie doesn't rhyme with the word overseas
Overseas there's this guy
Who describes how you're feeling all the time
In his mind he can find how you're feeling all the time
From behind distant lines
Even straighter than his spine
Which is fine
Which is fine
And describes how you're feeling all the time
Notes
The bridge is replaced by the backwards message in the demo
version.
69.Swing Is A Word
Who can snap my fingers？
Nobody can, nobody can
Where's my cat's pajamas？
In the can, the big trash can
Swing is a word
Six feet down
Swing is a word
Six feet down
Swing is a word
Six feet down
Swing is a word
Six feet down
3-8-7-6-9-6-2-night＊
Swing is a word (3-8-7)
6-9-6-2
Swing is a word (3-8-7)
6-9-6-2
Swing is a word (3-8-7)
6-9-6-2
Swing is a word (Swing is a word)
Six feet down
Notes
＊The Then liner notes have 'narrr' insted of 'night.'
This may be the case, but then the wonderful joke (2night) is
lost.
70.Doris Cunningham
I think you have another song for us. Would you like to perform
it？
What's the name of the song？
Oh, I think I know that one! Great, great.
71.Counterfeit Fake
Vocal：John Flansburgh
Hey, hey, counterfeit fake
History wants you, they made a mistake
Hey, hey, counterfeit fake
History wants you, they made a mistake
Hey, hey, counterfeit fake
History wants you, they made a mistake
Hey, hey, counterfeit fake
History wants you, they made a mistake
72.Schoolchildren Singing 'Particle Man'
Vocal：John Linnell
Particle man, particle man
Doing the things a particle can
What's he like？ It's not important
Particle man
Is he a dot, or is he a speck？
When he's underwater does he get wet？
Or does the water get him instead？
Nobody knows, Particle man
Triangle man, Triangle man
Triangle man hates particle man
They have a fight, Triangle wins
Triangle man
Universe man, Universe man
Size of the entire universe man
Usually kind to smaller man
Universe man
He's got a watch with a minute hand,
Millenium hand and an eon hand
When they meet it's a happy land
Powerful man, universe man
Person man, person man
Hit on the head with a frying pan
Lives his life in a garbage can
Person man
Is he depressed or is he a mess？
Does he feel totally worthless？
Who came up with person man？
Degraded man, person man
Triangle man, triangle man
Triangle man hates person man
They have a fight, triangle wins
Triangle man
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